Its just gone midnight, so it is officially Christmas. If I was 8 years old I'd of been asleep long ago because everyone knows if you're awake Santa won't come. But because i'm no longer 8 years old midnight is just the perfect time to over think absolutely everything.
This year has been a funny year. I spent half of it putting recovery first, then the other half putting it on hold. Last Christmas I was so prepared for dinner. I didn't need to panic at stupid o'clock. Quorn cottage pie (213 Kcals). This year I'm not sure if I'm with my family for Christmas, or with someone else's because I am so indecisive. So not only do I have the battle of doireallywanttospendchristmaswithmysistersboyfriend?
I also have all this circling my somewhat jumbled brain.
Can't I just hibernate for the day? orwillthatspoilthings?
If I stay at home what will I eat? enoughtosatistfyothers? anamountthatwontmakemehatemyself?
But then I might binge at home? toomuchchocolateequalsemotionallydia.
What would I eat at someone else's house? canigetawaywithnoteating? oristhatrude?
idontknowwhattodoandimsoanxiousthatimcrying.
whydoholidaysrevolvearoundfood?
im99.99%surethatwhateverdecisionimakeimgoingtospoilsomeoneschristmas.
Ihaventevenconsideredbreakfastorsupperyet.
andwhataboutboxingday?!
It's fair to say I have gotten myself into a right tizz and I'm not entirely sure what I am going to do about it. I am convinced i'm going to ruin Christmas. Im going to stop myself from continuing my rambling now.
On a less selfish note, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. (Please remember it's all about Jesus and not all about what presents you get!)
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